An albatross around my neck ??

My blogspace has undoubtedly been an incredible agony aunt of mine for quite some time.. Oflate I realize that the levels of proximity I share with it are mounting high with such a great pace that any unwarranted speculation of my life taking a sharp swerve or any unjustified premonition of losing out on my prized possessions or just another surge of desire to publicize my guilt pangs would immediately press me to desperately run to my blog with an enormous faith that the massive intensity of all my dismays and apprehensions would forthwith slash down by a hundred times.

This incident which happened a few weeks ago rekindled the torch of discontentment in me which I've always tried to extinguish with a water of stupid reconcilement..

Technical Lead: Ok guys..so your next assignment is on video podcasting where you have to create a video on a topic of your choice.. Ensure that you are in present in the video .. (and the list of requirements were never ending)

All the students: (With that inevitable grin of technical satisfaction) Hey wow !! How interesting is that !! How innovative it is to create a video... How creative is the assignment..How wonderful it is to be present in the video...How beautiful will I look (and the praises for the assignment continued indefinitely to glory)

Looking at my peers who were all so jubilant and excited and especially a girl who was almost ready to start doing the assignment in the office itself with her conspicuous technical hunger, I realized that I did not even have a smidgeon of the technical fervour which my colleagues possessed.

I know it fully well that its an absolute offence to each and every second of the solid 4 years of my engineering when I say that I have no inclination for anything technical..Perhaps I turned out to be an out and out misfit in the firmament of engineering.. I do not know if I even wronged my very decision of taking up engineering six long years ago.. Over and over again I've tried hard to wake up the technical genius in me which is slumbering away to glory, only to emerge as a 'bull in a china shop'. I still fail to understand why I am coerced into concluding that technical stuff is just not my cup of tea !!

And this discontentment tranforms into a terrific anguish when I sincerely share my emotions with my friends and they immediately rubbish it off accusing all my feelings of sheer pretence.. The facts that I've been the topper of my class and that I got placed into a company which conducts an X-ray test of your technical abilities have probably become people's weapon against me !! I have no answer as to how I have a decent aggregate.. I have no answer as to how I topped ..

All I can say is that my interests lie in literary activities.. English has always been my first love..My blog is my best friend..I feel a surge of desire to scale new heights by tapping my skills in writing.. I long to establish my career in the world of literarature..I pray to the Lord Almighty to proffer me a wondrous career in the field I long and excel.. I am scared I might compromise and then convince myself like the other scores of people and finally stick to something I don't enjoy.. By and by I learnt how potent the entity called "TIME" is.. So I bow down my head in total reverence to its supremacy , leaving the fate of my career to it. I now move on with a profound belief that my future is in safe hands..