No sooner did I send out the mail than my in-basket on Outlook chirped as new mails kept popping in , all of which were sent in response to the mail I had sent. They were something like this:
"How true !! Expectations always hurt. "
"Precisely !! It'd be nice if you don't expect things from everyone which includes me also ..hehe.. and you’d notice that life is more enjoyable."
"Correcccccct ra.. Expectations are bad. "
One of the responses was from someone who knows me inside out and I was quite clueless on how to react to that mail. I totally respect the individual's perception but may be I wasn't won over by his opinion. In fact there were two responses which victoriously persuaded me into pondering if I really expect a '200%' from my people and I wondered if life can be an uninterrupted festivity if expectations are clipped out . On a very candid note, though it was I who sent across that quote to everyone, I was not in agreement with it ( now don't ask me why I sent it. I sent it simply :P)
There were quite a few instances where I and a couple of other friends were blamed for being a bit too high on 'expectancy quotient'.
Do these things really qualify to be great expectations?
When I blame a close friend for being unresponsive, inexpressive and not taking enough initiatives, it neither means that I am insulting him and nor does it mean that I am a ‘thope’. It only means that there is an element of completeness in life if he is around. There is a whiff of untellable contentment which I feel in his company and conversations. The very fact that I could afford to blame him/her speaks volumes about how important he/she is to me. I wouldn’t care to blame a stranger, would I?
I’d never expect to be called and cared for, by the others outside my circle as I am neither tied to them and nor am I hurt by their neglectful gestures. This means expectations are only for my people.
I wouldn't care to call them 'my people' if I don't expect anything of them. The moment I'd stop expecting things from my people would be the moment when my love for them would begin to diminish. It would be that fateful occasion when the bonding I had always had with them would not be striking a chord in me any more. It would be that unfortunate second from when the ties I had always had with them would snap forever.
When you proclaim that you never expect things of anyone:
1) you have no ties with anyone
or
2) you are a hypocrite.
‘Expectation’ is that ethereally beauteous institution which draws the line between people who are always yours and people who are not.
Being heaped with expectations, is an honor in itself as it is a clear-cut indication of how much you are loved, cared and wanted in somebody else's life.
In the pursuit of living my life completely, I don’t think I can ever stop expecting, as long as I can keep loving .. coz the moment I'd stop expecting would be the moment I'd stop loving..
P.S.:
1) The number of people who love you madly can be counted on ur fingers. Whether to love them back or to ignore them is in your hands.
2) Any relationship requires equal contribution from both the people involved. One-sided relationships don’t last forever. One person cannot stand at the giving end always. It hurts to be taken for granted.
3) Words like ‘sorry’, ‘thank you’ , ‘please’ have a magical effect and can resurrect and repair any relationship – I am not sure if these are expectations; but they are manners for sure.
4 )Phrases like 'i love you' , 'you mean so much to me' , ' u r one of my best friends' would revive the sagging levels of satisfaction and purge any trace of insecurity in a person. Being expressive always pays.
5) The only possible expectation in any relationship would be affection in return and nothing else.
6)Expectations are not wrong. In fact not making expectations is wrong. Feeling the pain of not receiving affection back (or unfulfilled expectations for that matter, both are the same anyway) is a part of life. This pain brings with it a sense of indefinably weird addiction and comfort. If you avoid the pain, life is not complete.
Instead of resisting yourself from expecting things from others , emancipate your heart and give it the liberty to expect.
Dedicated to
My tight circle.
If I've blamed any of you for not having taken enough initiatives, it only means that I need and love you all so much. - I can't say this to any one else :D