Thursday, December 17, 2009

Ohh Shut Up !!!


Being back to my favourite avocation after quite a long hiatus , I somehow find myself handcuffed by a few thoughts which are sadly playing dampeners , untiringly endeavouring to dilute my rather high spirits to release this post. The meatier of the two negative thoughts being ' What if the write up paints a prudish picture of me which might eventually grimace and pour scorn on the very attitude of my friends and peers. The other one which is badgering me into quitting this post is ' Isn't it too late for this preachy crap to be out ? '

Well, I really do not know how powerful and concrete the above dampeners are !! All I know at this moment is perhaps the swelling river of impatience in me has just crossed the final danger mark , completely collapsing the floodgates of patience which kept monitoring it for years !!

Not being co educationally schooled, I wasn't probably exposed to this behavior among friends, which came across as weird in the beginning but which gradually transformed into something deeply detestable.

My first experience happened during my first year of engineering when I surreptitiously managed to occupy one of the window seats in my college bus trying my best not to attract the attention of a menacing gang of so called 'seniors' who arrogantly occupied the rear-most string of seats in the bus, desperately waiting to pounce upon juniors and make belittling and derogatory remarks about them ( an act considered a fundamental right of every senior in college).

A minute after I occupied my seat, a girl got in and due to the cramped seating arrangement in the bus, chose to stand all throughout the journey to college. A minute after she got in , one of my 'respectable' seniors brazenly remarked ' Hey maama, aa pilla donkey laa undhi' !!!
I lay aghast to the core at the outrageous language that rogue was resorting to !! Quite candidly, I was fully ignorant about the fact that people unhesitatingly make vile comments about the appearance of the opposite sex.

Boiling down to strict facts, the ill-mannered rascal who made that comment himself resembled a monkey with a matted hairstyle and a 'color-guarantee complexion' while the girl who bore that remark happened to be a gifted one with an enormous prowess in holding huge crowds mesmerized with her flawless language. What I still wonder ( after around four years ) is what the heck did that uncultured brute think about himself !! Who did he think he is a spitting-image of ? Imraan or Ranbhir or Ruslaan or was it Siddharth ?? I never understood !!




This incident just kickstarted an almost tumultous emotional reciprocation me which lasted for the next four years, and is sadly still on !! At the summit of exhaustion , I was coerced into questioning myself if the people around me were really qualified to pursue a decent professional course. I always pondered and wondered as to who was it , who actually pressed them into action, shouldering them with a mammoth responsibility spanning from judging the looks of a girl and pronouncing the verdict whether her smile is enchanting or not, to roguishly giving an overall rating of her appearance.





Well, clinging to an all so candid opinion,( trying to ignore the fact that I would draw a lot of flak and brickbats to the following opinion) what I could observe in common among these comment-mongers is 90% of them fall below the mediocre mark and 5% of them barely touch the mediocre mark when it comes to their own looks and appearances. In a way it reminds me of an aphorism which I learnt in my childhood : " Empty vessels make more noise".



There have been numerous occasions where I have been extremely desperate to blurt out and question them, "Oh so you resemble Ranbhir right ? :| ". Handsome guys don't generally , I emphasize, "generally" don't prefer playing judges to others' looks. Even if a good- looking guy disdains the looks of a blonde , the onlookers are atleast left with an option to arrive at a conclusion : ' May be that guy is arrogant about his snazzy look'.

What excuse do the others have when they are on a judging spree , assuring and allowing themselves to pass such abusive remarks round the clock ? Aren't they making a fool of themselves , cutting a very sorry figure of their own selves in public??

Are girls only a source to cause titillations ?? Are they only meant to be ogled at ?? What perturbs me is the fact that the very first thing that crackles to life in our minds when we run into a dame, is how curvaceous or voluptuous or s**y she is !!




Winning dozens of degrees doesn't suffice. There is more to life than casting amorous glances at every woman. It's about being able to treat everyone equally as humanbeings and definitely not as things which satisfy carnal pleasures.












Desire when you deserve.

Judge only when you are qualified to.



Regards




34 comments:

Srinivas Chepuri said...

"Desire when you deserve"

Strange coincidence re .. i framed the same sentence some time long back .. thanks for letting me recollect it .. !!

It seems to me that u were literally shaking with rage while writing this blog ?? jz calm down .. and say All izz well .. !

Anilkumar said...

Nice one re...a sudden outburst..as am reading it,i found that u r emotionally shattered in this regard...but dont take these things to heart...we r living amidst social animals who jz try to securely defend themselves at the cost of others motives...dont care much abt these things...only thing we can do is to advise them jz once and thereafter leave them to their hell...dont let these things to dampen ur spirit...jz go on..bye...!

Ramana Sarva said...

What I still wonder ( after around four years ) is what the heck did that uncultured brute think about himself !! Who did he think he is a spitting-image of ? Imraan or Ranbhir or Ruslaan or was it Siddharth ?? I never understood !!


Even if they are that, they don't deserve to. Good 'un Tarun.

anu said...

Hmm, I knew that boys are notorious for passing comments, but I didn't know it was this extreme. I think there is a serious dearth of decent boys! And girls NEVER pass such comments, it’s because a majority of the girls are mature and decent :D

divya said...

hmm...i expected you would someday release one of this kind..dese things do happen,tarun...few petty things can be ignored...bt i dont think wat made you pen down this is just ignorable...dont take all dose to heart tarun... one good thing is dat girls now-a-days r capable of handling such men.. i have myself witnessed few situations.. so,just dont pay much thought to it.... :)

Abhiram,Puneeth said...

Emannanara...ma lanti valla meeda manusu lothullo nunchi kopanni bayatiki theesi rasinattu unnav ga [:P]...enthaina thope college ra meedi comment chese vallu kooda style ga english lo chestharu kada [:P]...aina eerojullo donkey ani comment chese aa dash dash senior evadra [:P]...

@all
mee andari uddesham lo aa naluguru tappa (""Imraan or Ranbhir or Ruslaan (veeedu evado kooda telidu) or was it Siddharth?? "") comment cheyyadaniki assala janalu evaru eligibile ye kanattu undi ga [:P]...idantha kaadu kaani maku oo doubt vachindi....entante ammayilu assala comment ye cheyyara lekapothe cheyyadam meeru choodaleda? [:P]

@tarun
assala evarini target chesi rasavo ma iddariki asssala artham kaledu ra [:P]...

Abhiram,Puneeth said...

@all who are in agreement with tarun:
Apart from the sarcastic comments above, what we feel is you people are taking things too formal.People will become friends only when they talk informally with each other(may be you people's views are different).If we expect one should be formal to other person, will a good bond of friendship develop between them?.We don't think so...It will be similar to a strict Professor and a frightened student relationship in which everything is formal and no FUN at all.It will be the individual's perspective how one see's the issue i.e like a formal professor or an informal friend.When taken the donkey example all you people took it in the professor's thought,whereas we always take it the other way.

Ragging is a perfect example for informal interactions. Even though it is vulgar(according to you people) we get to know lots of seniors in the process.If you people see ragging/informal interactions in a positive way, then everything will be FUN and very useful.

Take everything in a positive way at least one will be happy :)...

@tarun
Enough of gyaan for now and as usual couldn't understand most of your vocab :).

ShikhaThakur said...

good work tarun....
its being very rare to see guys respecting women...
any woman first looks 4 this quality in a man...

a man respecting a woman automatically moves a step ahead than her...

and "desire when u deserve.."" awesome line to go with it..

Tarun Parthasarathy said...

@Abhiram and Puneeth: Hey I didn't target anyone .. Pls !! It was just another blog which I always had in mind since college.. Just that it came out nw..

And I apologize.. I refuse to agree with you guys on the 'enjoyment' aspect.. As far as getting close to ppl is concerned, it myt as well start with a warm and decent note..Ragging can always be fun.. provided the the guy/girl on the other side is comfortable and is enjoying it as well.. Not when they are suffering !!


And coming to the Ranbir , Imraan part of my post.. I didn't mean only handsome guys have the right to make comments about girls.. I only meant , it leaves the onlookers with an option to atleast come to a conclusion that 'may be the guy is too arrogant abt his looks' ( though not right )


Coming to the vocab part.. I'll try to cut down !! :-)

Abhiram said...


As far as getting close to ppl is concerned, it myt as well start with a warm and decent note..

you have your professor and you have your engineering friend.....both interactions start on warm and decent note....will you share all your personal things with your professor?.....definetly no....where as you will share them with your friend.....because you are more formal to your professor whereas you are less formal to your friend.....the more informal are you the more you can share....It can be other way also.....The more informal are you the more you can get to know about your friends....

Ragging can always be fun.. provided the the guy/girl on the other side is comfortable and is enjoying it as well.. Not when they are suffering !!

Similar to your opinion about Ragging I ferl it is a kind of suffering to attend a class(from class 1 to engg)...Suffering because I am not interested in some subjects....So should I say classes should be banned?....I hate to study for degrees.....should degrees also be banned?....It is a part of study ..Then why can't ragging be treated as a part of engg life where people get to know about each other.....interact with each other...When you compare students who got ragged and who didn't get ragged I bet you will know that students who got ragged have more number of memorable moments and have enjoyed more than the guys who didn't get ragged....

And coming to the Ranbir , Imraan part of my post.. I didn't mean only handsome guys have the right to make comments about girls.. I only meant , it leaves the onlookers with an option to atleast come to a conclusion that 'may be the guy is too arrogant abt his looks' ( though not right )

Didn't get the meaning of the sentence "desire when u deserve" so thought of asking you that question....

Tarun Parthasarathy said...

@ Abhiram :

Informal conversations undoubtedly create deep frndship.. Never disagreed.. But both of you don't need to discuss how ugly or s**y the girl who's passing by looks inorder to get close !! Never said 'no' to fun n enjoyment.. But I denounce that kind of so- called enjoyment which involves the discussion of the appearances of others..

I still emphasize, talking "formally" is earth shatteringly different from talking " decently" .. Decent conversations can always lead to great frndships !!

Coming to your argument bout disinterest in classes and learning without a degree.. Pls go ahead and bunk ur classes.. I am dead sure that you won't be engulfed by a bunch of scary prof's who'd throw a flood of questions at you fr bunkin thr classes..

But imagine a loner being surrounded by a gang of swarthy-looking seniors who keep on throwing tantrums and use horrible language for no reason ( keepin in mind that the guy is a 'loner').


As you said, the present system doesn't allow u to finish engg witout a degree n nor does it allow u to remove subjects frm the curriculum.. That's the system , u can't change it !! Will agree wit ur pt of view bout ragging when it is frmlly included in the curriculum !!

Having said all this, I do have a lot of frnds who've enjoyed their ragging and r still happy that they were infact ragged.. !! So the bottom line is that it works for most of them and doesn't for some of them..
My opinion was stated keepin in mind those 'some' of them..


'Desire when you deserve' was just another statement made keeping in my mind, quite a few comment-mongers and their antics which happened in college ( but definitely relevant to the topic) .. Definitely not with the 'Imraan-Ranbir' part of the post !!


At the end of the day, all of us have our own perceptions .. I am sure that v can't reach a consensus on this issue .. I am not trying to prove that I am right.. Just want to say that is my way of looking at it !!

kiran said...

Hey tarun...as usual very professionally and well written blog....but one kind suggestion is that "naluguru naalugu maatalu antaru
" but we should not consider those mindless and useless words....i hope you wont take any such words to heart in future....those words just make you feel the pain, they wont cure any of wounds they just add fuel to fire.....so my kind suggestion is that take lite and go on...but all in all i am learning new things of you tarun from this blog.....:)

Puneeth said...

-->But both of you don't need to discuss how ugly or s**y the girl who's passing by looks inorder to get close !!

Arey this is one of the many things that frenz discuss among them self... I agree with you that commenting a girl in front of her is not correct but having an opinion about someone among frenz is common and I feel this is not wrong.... Remember we are keeping all our opinions to ourself.... And I think even some girls have an opinion among them self about boys... May be in your point of view this is wrong but they do take place in our society...

Abhiram said...

@tarun
You have rights to express your personal opinion on a senior of yours by calling(can also be taken as commenting) him brute.But you say, that senior doesn't deserve to comment(express his personal opinion) a girl.How far is it justified?

Then again regarding the classes and ragging part take a small boy who cries to go to school saying I am not interested.Should his mother accept him and shouldn't send him to school? If your answer is yes then I have no words.The thing I wanted to say is, you will get to know whether you are interested in a particular thing or not only when you experience it.Ragging is also the same.The same people who felt they shouldn't be ragged when asked now, they will tell you that those days are the most memorable days.

Decent conversations can always lead to great frndships !!

Can you explain it with an example....because I believe there is no big difference between formal and decent..

Definitely not with the 'Imraan-Ranbir' part of the post !!

So when it is not with the Imraan or Ranbir's part and related to some senior's part, what actually do you mean by the line "Desire when you Deserve"

I knew we can't reach on a consensus.But what I am trying to say is if you take things in a positive way then it will be fun and you will be happy.

anu said...

Couldn't help but notice the avalanche of comments. Each has his own opinion, and very strong ones at that!

Adding my opinion - Conversations most definitely can be decent and informal between very good friends. And informal conversations which are not decent do not always lead to great friendships! :D

Abhiram said...


And informal conversations which are not decent do not always lead to great friendships!

True.Completely agree.But most of the informal friendships lead to great friendships.

Srinivas Chepuri said...

oh my god .. didn't expect this serious exchange of opinions .. !!

see there are different kind of ppl living with different kind of opinions ..

I know tarun very well .. and i can say that hez way ahead decent and formal .. and he believes in friendship that evolves from similar kind of behavior .. ( obviously ) .. we both met formally .. and shared great friendship till now .. !

on the flip side .. for some ppl who are comfortable with informal language ( in a friendly way ) .. friendships might evolve from such kind of behavior .. i am friends with many ppl in such terms .. ! and I am sure even tarun has many such friendships ..

so the bottom line is .. there is no definite way of making frnds .. it differs from person 2 person .. so the best way is to acknowledge each others opinion .. and jz chill .. !!

bringing clases, professors, ragging etc etc .. will only lead to more confusion .. !

as said by divya .. it is indeed a petty issue .. tarun jz made us look at this petty issue turning into a serious one .. so the moral of blog is jz to bring an awareness that an ignored petty issue is capable of bringing many serious things .. !!

@tarun .. so ur next blog is about ?? .. hehe !!

@everyone else .. jz chill !

Tarun Parthasarathy said...

@Pun :

Absolutely Pun !! Things keep happening in our society..We are just left with an option to grin and bear it.. !! May be I shdn't expect the wrld to be all so ideal !! :-)



@Abhi : Whatever abhi..the 'right to freedom' shdnt be relaxed so much that v begin to transgress the bounds of morals n conduct.. Doesn't mean we talk nonsense and at the end of the day say ' its my view'.. Thr wud be nothin called ethics if each one does wat one feels like !!! Agree, that if i made that senior read my blog.. he myt as well find it nonsensical.. !!

Coming to the raggin part( this wasn't the pt of focus of my blog at all !!! :P ) Well all i can say is ragging is just a matter of choice.. Ragging only means healthy interaction ( which myt eventually lead to frndship).. I don't have to get humiliated to enter into frndship with a senior !! I am not ready to pay the price of my self esteem for frndship !!


About the decent and frml relships.. Guess cnu has answered it perfectly !! U can always be informally decent.. but not informally formal !! Examples are numerous coz all the frnds i have today are due to informally decent relships !! (including snrs who've nvr ragged me !! )


Can't discuss the 'desire-deserve' liner coz i'l hav to elaborate on the personal lives of many!! So lemme stop it here !!


@ Cnu : Thanks a ton for bringing the heated discussion to a funny ending !! Cmpltly agree with the cpt of 'individual perception' n agreed that 'profs, ragging, classes' which were obviously not a part of the discussion have crept in n created more of a ruckus !! :P :D

@all :
To reiterate .. may be this is a petty issue.. may be expectin the wrld to be ideal is wrong !!

And my dear frnds !!! thanks a ton for making this post of mine , the 'most-commented' one !!! :D .. I apologize if i made anyone feel that the post was intentional and has been composed to lambast someone !! As always said, opinions are personal !! But they shouldn't make a mockery of others' shortcomings.. !!

Thanks again to cnu fr driving the discussion to an elegant end !! :-)

Will let you know bout my next blog vry soon !! Hope it doesn't get as controversial as this one :P

Venkatesh Velaga said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Srinivas Chepuri said...

frankly .. these days it is very rare to find ppl with "definite" opinions .. tarun is one such guy .. and i think we all need to appreciate him for standing by his opinion ..

1 sec .. i think i am being too kind to him ..


so, now the stage is set for ..


"Desire when you deserve"

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......... hehe !

Venkatesh Velaga said...

Arey ivi comments aa blogs aaaa.........


Valla comments aa ammai ki vinipinchina inta bhada padutundho ledo naaku teledu kani nuvvu matram chala bhada padinattunnav ga..:)

Nuvvu ee blog second year lono first year lo no vunnappudu rayalsindi chala bagundedi......

4 years aipoina tarvata nuvvu ee blog rasav ante neenu nammalekunna.

Sarle edemithene

Ammailandaru neelanti vadine istapadatarani rasaru evaro oka comment lo.....
So blog eppudu raste enti le excellent comment vachindiga.

Venkatesh Velaga said...

Naa varaku maatram nee blog ni kontha varaku maatrame accept chestunna

divya said...

so,discussions ended !!!!!!...let me say it dis way.. ;)







tattadaa....................



" THE END " :D

Tarun Parthasarathy said...

4got to thank anu also for adding her views on informal and formal relships(esplly bout informally indecent ones) !! Good one re. Apologize for not having read ur comment properly..

Thanks divya... for ending the comment show !!! :D

Thanks to all once again :)

Sowmya said...

I feel you are just blowing things out of proportion. There are many girls who pass even more cheap comments. It just doesn't come out. Reasons unknown! There is no point of discussion here, saying women are Goddesses and they need to be respected. What extra feather in their cap do they have? If a girls is expecting respect, she is insecure or immature. Chill man! Ragging happens everywhere. Take it in the way it comes. If it crosses the line and creates an impression that it's obscene, then you can raise a flag. I feel till then it is absolutely permissible and it is a part and parcel of the game. Please do not take things to heart.

@all
I know it's a democratic country and you have freedom of speech. Please ensure that you do not cross the thin line while passing your comments.

Regards,
Sowmya

Tarun Parthasarathy said...

@ Sowmya :

Well.. i know that girls pass comments as well !! Never disagreed !! I was just against the concept of judging ppl by their looks !! I know that I have stressed upon 'guys judging it' n not abt girls .. If 90% of guys make obscene comments, its only 10% girls who do it..!! ( my view thru experience) And I apologize, i was never being a feminist doling out advices on how to respect women..!! But am definitely against the concept of expecting them to be 'eye candies' !!

The soul of my blog was to 'look at ur own appearance even b4 u comment upon the others' n that there is definitely more to our lives than ogling at every other woman !!!!

Spoo-candid said...

every girl has almost learnt to endure this vile,preposterous practice....but a guy voicing it out with such euridictive ,cynical,euphemistic draft leaves me hoping for an impending change ....i know it has been simmering in u but u can only edify.i m waiting for all this to ebb.

Spoo-candid said...

every girl has almost learnt to endure this vile,preposterous practice....but a guy voicing it out with such euridictive ,cynical,euphemistic draft leaves me hoping for an impending change ....i know it has been simmering in u but u can only edify.i m waiting for all this to ebb.

Kanchana Naravar said...

Awesome is all i can say about the way u think how healthy in thought a guy/girl should be....and i am sure the guy would be ashamed if he reads this post...and can have a change over....why don try, send him the link ;)

Tarun Parthasarathy said...

@kanchana : thanks !! :)

hey i just tuk that guy's example !! there are many more who make even more cheap comments !! Wrote it keepin all the instances in mind !! :D

Anonymous said...

@Abhiram, Puneeth: Very late but I wanted to tell you guys something. Not defending Tarun, but what you speak is rubbish. Only because you are confusing people with nonsense. You for a fact don't have a stand point. And I choose to justify what I say giving you examples from what you guys wrote.

1. You decide to compare the choice of a school going kid with that of a professional student - a 4 yr old being compared with a 20 yr old is like comparing Sachin Tendulkar and Michael Jackson.

2. Coming to your informal interactions, gentlemen, even if it is kept among yourselves, implying everyone except the poor girl, it is enough to tarnish her image. Please understand, "Never determine or tarnish a person's character. It is nothing to you and everything to them." So, please and please understand, even if it is to your chaddi paal, you don't have to tell him a girl is sexy or she looks straight out of a mine.

Just to add, pardon my language, I'd kick the balls out of a guy who'd call me a mother-f(*#$r if only to get close to me. Understand there's a thin line, and Tarun was talking about crossing it.

"Take a sound from whatever source, a note on a violin, a scream, a moan, a creaking door, and there is always this symmetry between the sound basis, which is complex and has numerous characteristics which emerge through a process of comparison within our perception."

Also, if your opinion is of that importance and it deserves being shared, have the guts to go and give the girl some positive criticism.

And regarding your comments, was that sarcasm, or were you being touchy? The first I appreciate, the second, I snigger at. :P

@Tarun : A vain attempt at trying to preserve the little left decency in this world. Sorry for coming in late.

P.S: You can choose to delete this comment, if you find it offensive to you or your friendship with the guys mentioned above.

Tarun Parthasarathy said...

@Anonymous:

Hey looks like I can't read your comment here !! Did you delete it yourself ? I'm finding it strange that I could read it on my inbox but not here !! Everybody is free to express their opinions. Nobody here would take offence to your views :) and I wouldn't delete any comments from my readers.. I understand that different people have different opinions !!

Well keep reading and commenting :-) .. Would be nicer if I get to know your identity !! ;-) ..


-Tarun

Anonymous said...

Guess my language was a little too gross for the comments page. Alas, I don't have the comment anymore. Like time, as far as I'm concerned, its gone forever. Do me a favor. Refine it and post it here, on my behalf.

Tarun Parthasarathy said...

@Anonymous: Hey it so happened that your comment got into "spam comments".. I didn't know that such a thing even existed on blogspot..lol..

And yeah, it wasn't offensive. It was just your view !! To add, Mr Abhiram went ahead and said that he respects your opinions though he differs on them. But on a lighter note, I feel so happy and triumphant that finally a guy has agreed with me :) :) .. Thanks a lot for it !!

Achha Mr Anonymous, wanted to tell you this - when I read your comment initially , I thought it was an altogether new person commenting. I couldn't find your aplomb and style in it, which was very much unlike you. ;-) .. Was in for a surprise when you confirmed that it was the same you.. I didn't want to refine/amend your comment. I published it back as it was.

So I'm personally inviting you to read my upcoming blog this weekend. I'll be awaiting your comments and birthday wishes this time around :) .. :D

Yeah I know I'm sounding a little childish when I ask you to wish me too.. But do read it :) ..


-Tarun